5 More Grief Myths Worth Exposing - part 2
This is the second part of a two part series on Grief Myths Worth Exposing. Whether you are grieving or supporting those who do, these myths can get in the way of thorough and healthy grief.
My aim is not to just expose the myths but give you a more accurate way to see and frame your grief. The perspective you choose can change how you experience your grief so getting your thinking right matters.
Where the head goes, the body follows. Perception precedes action. Right action follows the right perspective. — Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle is the Way
As I expose five more myths worth busting, choose instead a perspective you can live with and learn from. If you missed part one - here it is.
5 More Grief Myths Worth Exposing
1. You should move away from your grief not towards it
More accurate: If grief is knocking at your door, let her in. This sounds wrong since you might be welcoming pain into your life. The truth is, if you want to heal, you have to feel. Take it in small doses yes but don’t run from the thoughts, feelings, and reactions that come with it.
2. Tears are a sign up weakness and should be shut down
More accurate: Tears are a necessary part of the healing process — a built in mechanism that brings cleansing and healing to our bodies and souls after a painful loss.
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. — Washington Irving
3. When someone you love dies, you only have to grieve that loss and nothing else
More accurate: With any loss comes a host of secondary losses. Those might include the loss of identity, the loss of purpose, the loss of financial security, the loss of your health, or the loss of a dream. With all loss comes to need to grieve.
4. No one can help me with my grief — I must get through this on my own
More accurate: On one level, the grief journey is a solitary walk only you can take. On the other hand, you need to involve others so proper mourning can take place. The internal experience of grief needs the external process that mourning provides.
5. You really only need to grieve the death of a loved one
More accurate: Loss has many faces and on some level, every loss will benefit from take the time necessary to grief. It’s also important to remember that people will react very differently to the various types of loss. What may be easy to process for one person may be a monumental challenge for someone else.
Final Reflection
What myth have you had trouble reframing?
What is possible with a more accurate version of the grief myth you’ve caught yourself believing?
