Pausing is What Sustains the Heart
There is power in the pause.
We feel the power of the pause in music, in a well crafted speech, and in life when we are able to slow down, take a breath and show up in the space the pause creates.
The pause is like white space on a paper. It gives us a place to doodle on and be open with. It’s in that place where space is created that we can be with our emotions and thoughts and simply be curious.
Whether you’re grieving or dealing with a challenging life for some other reason, the pause is a gift you give yourself. The pause also creates a readiness to connect with people.
Solitude — a Friend of the Pause
One practice that creates space for the pause is solitude. Solitude is different than isolation. It’s a place where you remove distractions for the purpose of rest, reflection, contemplation, and other practices that help you center on the things that matter to you.
Isolation is the unhealthy outcome of an unmet need for genuine connection. Solitude alone isn’t enough but it does, in tandem with the pause, prepare you for genuine connection.
Every week I go for an undistracted walk down to the creek by my home to practice solitude, reflection, and the pause. I listen to the water run over the rocks, watch my dog walk through and drink the cool stream water, and used poetry, and other quotes and words to bring my attention into the present moment.
Let me give you an analogy from the heart that completes this healthy dance between the pause and engaging with life and others.
A Lesson from the Heart
Dr. Vivek Murthy in his book Together* describes the amazing two phase process the heart goes through every time it beats. This process illustrates the life giving power of the pause.
The heart operates in two phases and both are necessary.
Phase one is called systilly. That is where the heart pumps blood to the vital organs. I would call that the PUMP phase.
Phase two is called dystilly. That is where the heart relaxes. I would call this the PAUSE phase.
Most people think that systilly is where the action is and the more time in systilly the better. But dystilly (the relaxation phase) is where the coronary blood vessels fill and supply life sustaining oxygen to the heart muscle itself. — Vivek Murthy
In other words…
Pausing is what sustains the heart!
The Pump/Pause Rhythm Connects You to Yourself and Others
The lesson I see and learn in this analogy is that I need to maintain a consistent rhythm between this pump/pause cycle. Solitude and self-reflection prepare me for healthy relationships and healing journey of grief.
As we become attuned to our own signals and frequencies we naturally gain an empathetic ability to relate to these signals in others. This internal attunement helps us feel centered, confident and calm, securing the foundation of self-knowledge from which we can build strong connections outward. With others and the wider world. — Vivek Murthy
Reflection Questions
How would you rate your own experience and practice of the pump/pause cycle?
What can you do or keeping doing to create undistracted space to pause so you can step into relationships and healthy activities with renewed energy and strength?
Who can you reach out to for help if you are stuck in isolation or the inability to stop and pause for fear you might not like what you find?
* Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, by Vivek H. Murthy
