The Power and Place of Purpose
Among the disruptions to life after a loss is the impact you often feel in the area of your purpose. Of course it’s different for everyone but let me share my experience of loosing and then later finding a renewed sense of purpose.
Life went from making sense to being nonsense.
The purpose I had before Vicky died was hit hard and I needed to revisit this area that once was pretty clear, but no longer.
Vicky wasn’t my whole life but definitely was a huge part what gave life meaning.
It felt like my identify was tied to my purpose — who I am and why I’m here were related.
The day a light bulb came on in my head regarding my purpose was five months after Vicky died. I was enjoying a very large free birthday drink at Starbucks and journaling my thoughts and feelings as I often did.
In a moment of reflection, I felt this strange impression that said, “You are to be a grief mentor.” My first reaction was to question it because I was relatively early on in my grief. I didn’t push it off but wrote it down and let it just be.
Why Renew Your Purpose
When I think about what I’ve appreciated about having a compelling reason to get up in the morning, I’ve been grateful many times to have figured out an answer to that question. It has changed over the years but always has served me well.
The research on purpose bodes well for a fully life. Time Magazine states that purposeful living is linked to a lower risk of disease and better sleep. One other study suggests that people with purpose are more proactive in looking after their health.
There is something that goes on when you know why you’re here. It even can hold you up when met with unbearable circumstances and loss. Viktor E. Frankl, a man who knew loss and suffering famously wrote…
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.
Where do you look when you feel like you are aimlessly wondering around in circles after a set back or loss? Let me share one key principle that helped me start that journey.
The Starting Place: Believe It’s Worthwhile to Have a Purpose
To succeed in life, you need a future goal – a why or an aim. Woe to him who saw no more sense in his life, no aim, no purpose, and therefore no point in carrying on. — Viktor Frankl
If you are a bit overwhelmed with even the thought of having a purpose, forget about the thought that a purpose needs to be some grand or amazing statement that sets you on a whole new life course.
A purpose can be as simple as knowing what to do when you wake up in the morning.
When I realized my purpose could be simple, the level of comfort I received grew especially because I was not a little bit overwhelmed emotionally and had very limited mental band width to think grand thoughts.
Purpose gives you a direction to head.
Purpose helps you keep moving when you want to give up.
Purpose gives you a focus beyond yourself and the sadness that you might be paralyzing your life.
Purpose opens up the thought that a future is possible if you just keep going.
Final Thoughts
When I first heard those words, “Be a grief mentor,” the change and impact was relatively small. I did, however, begin to notice people in a new way - especially those who had suffered a loss.
I didn’t do much at first but because I knew how worthwhile it was to have a purpose, it started me on a direction I continue to live out to this day.
Let me leave you with some words to ponder as you consider what you purpose is, especially if it’s a season of rediscovering what that could be.
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving. ― von Goethe
Dedicate yourself to what gives your life true meaning and purpose; make a positive difference in someone's life. ― Roy T. Bennett
