The Positive Impact of a Moral Compass
A personal moral compass is a resiliency muscle well worth strengthening to help you heal after a loss.
What is a moral compass?
The ability to judge wisely between what is right and wrong. An internal sense that something is good and wholesome and is worth pursuing. It shows up as a steady and consistent life of integrity and virtue.
An internalized set of values and objectives that guide a person with regard to ethical behavior and decision-making. — Dictionary Definition
I’ve been learning to live this way my whole adult life. I worked as a pastor for many years and part of that role was to give moral guidance to people. I’ve learned a lot from the Stoics who lived and taught the value of a strong moral compass.
There appears to be a crisis of moral strength in our world. A Gallup poll done in the US found that nearly 80 percent of Americans believe the overall moral state of the nation is fair or poor. The same respondents feel that Americans are becoming more selfish and dishonest.
When grieving, you’re better able to navigate the turbulence going on within you if you have a moral compass. Let me share a few reasons why you should bother with this and some ways I’ve been building my own compass.
Why Find Your Personal Moral Compass
1. A moral compass provides a benchmark to help you measure your actions and life
Aristotle said that a moral compass is the benchmark against which you can measure the goodness of your individual actions and overall life.
The definition of good will vary from person to person but basically it’s about living a life that allows you to flourish as a human being with few regrets when you get to the end of your life. It includes your values and beliefs.
My values and belief system have been strongly influenced by my Christian upbringing and chosen way of life. When tested by suffering, I repeatedly looked to the teachings of Jesus and other biblical authors. I also find Stoic philosophy very compatible with my Christian foundation.
Suffering, for example, in both Christian teaching and in Stoicism is part of the human experience and shouldn’t surprise us. Both schools of thought teach the importance of embracing what comes instead of playing the victim card and thinking it should be otherwise.
Don’t try to get out of your trials prematurely but let the adversity finish doing the work in you required to build you into a strong person. — James the brother of Jesus
To the Stoics, a life without adversity was a life without virtue. Virtue needs the struggle. It wants the challenge, it rises to it. — Ryan Holiday, an authority on Stoicism
If it’s endurable, then endure it. Stop complaining. — Marcus Aurelius, Stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor
2. A moral compass helps you to shape a new identity
When I was hit by loss, inevitably I ended up having an identity crisis. After my motorcycle accident, I couldn’t work for several months. Who was I if I wasn’t a coach, a leader, or a runner?
When Vicky died, I was no longer a husband, no longer married, and no longer the Captain on our tandem bike. I felt lost and alone in my struggle to figure out who I was now.
Into these moments of multiple identity crisis’, I leaned on my moral compass. It gave me a set of values and beliefs I turned to and used to re-create who I was.
My moral compass told me I was loved, that I was special, and that I was a child of my Creator. It gave me a place to stand while I figured out what I was going to do next.
Knowing I had lived well as a husband, served my wife to the end, and been faithful to her throughout our marriage, left me with no regrets. I also realized that being married or a husband was actually not who I was — it was a role I stepped into and now was being asked to step out of.
Finding a new purpose went hand in hand with a new identity and in both cases, a moral compass pulled me forward towards clarity and eventual a new identity and purpose.
3. A moral compass leads to healthy relationships and self-confidence
A sound moral compass can help you strike the right balance in your life between reason and emotion, practicality and idealism, and your needs as well as those of others. In other words, a moral compass can guide you toward what you ought to do in a given situation, not just what you want to do or even what others want you to do. The strength of your moral compass helps define your character, which determines how people choose to interact with you. — Bryan Zitzman, Marriage and Family Therapist
When grieving, we need people to support us and be there for us. If you have a strong moral compass, you will let people in, be courageous in your pain, find ways to be grateful, and be more empathetic because you have a solid core within you.
Self-confidence comes when you are secure in your own skin and have developed the ability to live life to the fullest, with goodness at the core. Self-confidence also shows up with honesty and openness about what you’re feeling and experiencing.
Your values and beliefs can serve as a rock to anchor you when the wind blows.
A weak moral compass looks for short cuts to healing and doesn’t have a solid basis for decision making. A weak moral compass will leave you flattened like a house built on sand hit by a hurricane.
Four Practical Ways to Help Strengthen Your Moral Compass
1. Find role models you can pattern your moral compass after
I have so many role models. Some are living but so many are long gone but not their influence. That list includes Jesus, Job, Viktor Frankl, Nelson Mandela, Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Marcus Aurelius, and my Grandfather, Murdo Campbell.
Find your role models. Study their lives, learn their habits, and follow their example.
2. Study and learn the teachings and moral ideals from the school you resonate with
Wisdom can be find in so many places including Christianity, Stoicism, Buddhism, psychology, or sociology. And there are many more!
The key is to learn and put into practice the things you are learning.
3. Create a list of core values you use as your anchor
Core values keep us grounded when we lose our way. Core values are those must haves or behavioral qualities that describe the kind of person you want to be.
A few of mine include loving, making a difference, responsibility, non-judgmental, and authenticity.
Reflection Questions
How would you describe your moral compass? Write out a paragraph summarizing the beliefs that guide you.
What area of your moral compass would you like to strengthen?
What core values guide your behavior and life?
