Seven Attitudes & Actions That Can Increase Happiness
What is your current level of happiness? Has a loss taken the wind out of your happiness sails? Is there anything you can do to find your way back to a better state of mind?
Let me start this conversation by defining happiness since it means many different things to different people.
According to happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky, happiness is…
The experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.
Things Are Not Always As You Think They Should Be
Are lottery winners happier than those paralyzed in an accident? Not necessarily. The research shows that with a bit of time, there is no significant difference between the two.
The reason for this is because the level of happiness someone arrives at after winning the lottery or after a life altering accident will depend on their “setpoint” happiness level before these events happened to them.
The reason for that is because a lot of our happiness (up to 50% of it according to happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky) is determined by our genes or temperament. That means we return to our setpoint after both gains and losses affect our lives.
The Good News
If 50% of our happiness is impacted by genes, what about the other 50% (these numbers are estimates)? Roughly 10% of our happiness is affected by circumstances which we have no control over and 40% of our happiness can be changed by our attitudes and actions which we do control.
How we live and respond to our circumstances even in the face of natural tendencies, can impact our happiness in a positive direction. I also believe that over time, we can actually change for the better our setpoint so that our internal world is naturally more content, peaceful, positive, and exists with a greater sense of purpose.
Seven Attitudes and Actions that Can Increase Your Overall Happiness*
The pathway to greater overall happiness is not easy or quick but is possible. It takes time, consistency, and a commitment to grow yourself with the help of others. I’ve practiced these actions and attitudes in a variety of ways as I’ve lived with and grew through loss and traumatic events.
1. Engage in self-reflection and positive thinking about yourself
This includes reflecting, journaling, talking about your most rewarding and most challenging events, and considering your goals for the future.
2. Setting aside time to recall moments of gratitude
You might consider keeping a gratitude journal and entering at the end of the day the three things you were grateful for that day. I’ve been doing in this whole year and it’s definitely helped with state of mind.
3. Practice kindness and generosity
Make it your intention to show kindness to those you meet today — even if your mood is less than cheerful. In the area of generosity, what do you have that you can share with someone in need?
4. Affirm your values and stay in alignment with them
When we remember our values and live according to them, our happiness increases. If we know what we value but live contrary to them, it has a negative impact on our mood.
5. Savor positive experiences using your five senses
This could be you slowing down to eat so that your favorite food can be tasted thoroughly and enjoyed. This could be your stopping for 10 minutes to stand or sit with a a piece of art with the eyes of curiosity.
6. Live today day as if it were your last
Momentum mori is a Latin phrase that means “meditate on your mortality.” None of us get off this planet alive. It does us good to consider how fragile life is — not to scare us to help cherish each and every moment we have to live.
7. Create meaningful moments of true connection with others
The power of connection should never be understated. You and I need people in our lives to see us and value us for who we are. We need empathetic witnesses to hear our stories and walk with us through life. When that happens, happiness grows within us.
Final thought
Regardless of what you’ve been through, you can choose to think and act in such a way that increases your experience of joy, contentment, and positive well-being. You can also with intentional action get to a place where you can say that life is good and meaningful.
Of the seven attitudes and actions, which one will you develop more strongly today?
*These ideas have been influenced by the work of happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky
