Adopting a Growth Mindset: Resiliency Habit #1
Over the next few weeks, I want to take a look at seven habits that will help you build greater resiliency in your life. Resiliency is a core trait that makes a tangible impact on your life for the better when grieving or getting through any form of adversity.
Studies show that resiliency is an essential quality that will put you on a trajectory that will leads to healing and help you eventually life again.
The good news is that for most of us, grief is not overwhelming or unending. As frightening as the pain of loss can be, the most common trajectory we’ve seen among bereaved people is the trajectory of resilience. Some cope so effectively, in fact, that they hardly seem to miss a beat in their day-to-day lives. — George A. Bonanno in The Other Side of Sadness
I’ve learned to value of resiliency several times in my life including the three years it took to recover after my motorcycle accident in 2011 plus while grieving the loss of my wife Vicky in 2020. Resiliency isn’t something you will need just once in your life but repeatedly.
The first habit we want to look at is foundational to resiliency — adopt a growth mindset.
Resiliency Habit #1: Adopt a Growth Mindset
Your thoughts and beliefs shape the way you respond and deal with life’s challenges. The right mindset won’t change your circumstances but it will give you greater capacity to grow through your circumstances.
You are what you are and where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You can change what you are and where you are by changing what goes into your mind. — Zig Ziglar
There are two mindsets we can choose from — a fixed mindset and a growth mindset
A fixed mindset is the belief that you have a limited amount of intelligence, personality, character, and attributes at your disposal at any given time.
A growth mindset is the belief that your basic qualities and capacity can be developed and expanded through learning and effort.
A fixed mindset experiences stress when introduced with unexpected circumstances and doesn’t know what to do when met with a new path to travel.
A growth mindset says, “I haven’t been down this road before, but I’m going to figure it out and learn what I need to know to get through this.”
When I woke up after my motorcycle accident, I was shocked to find out what happened. It wasn’t too long, however, before I started exploring the untapped potential of my mind and heart to figure out how I was going to grow through what I faced.
I went to work to evaluate my situation and begin to grow beyond where I had been before. It wasn’t going to be my limitations that defined me, but my commitment to growth and deep change.
5 Practical Ways to Develop a Growth Mindset
1. Use a “grab and go” attitude when faced with trouble
A growth mindset acts like a baby monkey, not a kitten, when in trouble. When a kitten gets into trouble, his mother comes and gently picks him up by the neck, rescuing him and taking him to safety.
A baby monkey, on the other hand, has no choice but to grab onto the back of his mother if he wants to make an escape.
One is rescued — the other rescues himself.
2. Take a step back before stepping forward
Gaining a new perspective is a powerful way to stimulate growth and help tackle your challenges. A new perspective gives us new ideas to try, people to learn from, and ways to overcome obstacles.
Read stories of people who survived in spite of challenging circumstances. One of my favorites is Nelson Mandela.
3. Make your challenge a game not a disaster
When faced with a challenge, turn it into a game instead of being overwhelmed and defeated by it. When you play a game, you live in the moment and think only of your next move.
Game playing gets your mind off the long journey and emotion and onto developing a plan for your next move.
4. Practice experimentation and explore new options
When under pressure or met with adversity, it’s easy to focus on what’s missing. What builds resilience is the practice of exploring new options.
When I lost the ability to run, I grieved the loss, but in due time I imaged myself mountain biking through the trees instead. It took three years before I actually got on my new bike but the new option created resilience and birthed a new dream within me.
5. Focus on what’s left, not what’s lost
A growth mindset allows you to grow towards new possibilities. One of the phrases I use often when facing loss is: “Focus on what’s left, not on what’s lost.” That mantra creates an expectation for something new to emerge.
Curiosity evokes positive growth and change.
In the game of life, we all receive a set of variables and limitations in the field of play. We can either focus on the lack thereof or empower ourselves to create better realities with the pieces we play the game with. — T.F. Hodge
Options to Consider
Write down a description of your current mindset and look for examples that illustrate that mindset
Identify one activity from the above list and apply it your life
Find someone you can share your learning about mindset with
